Millionaire chews out friend for asking to borrow $5: 'She's posh now, and is not of your world anymore'

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
May 20, 2024 4:00 PM EDT

"Friends and money should never mix," said the subject of this recent Reddit post. Whether or not they are ultimately in the wrong… that's still up for debate, but that statement remains true. Like business and pleasure or oil and water, some things are better left un-mingled. Of course, it's hard to avoid sometimes. If you ever go out to dinner with a friend, unless you're calculators out, always committed to splitting evenly, someone is going to end up in debt to someone. You either have to decide not to care, or just do your best with the mental math of favors. 

But something you generally can avoid is asking to borrow money from friends. Here and there, it's okay, but it becomes unhealthy if it's a habit. That's exactly what happened in this story, where a pair of friends were split apart by matters of money. But commenters were split on who was in the wrong. Read on to see what you think. 

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  • 01
    JONNY SIZE "I began living paycheck to paycheck"
    via Allef Vinicius
  • 02
    920 r/AmltheAsshole u/Stupidinlovelesigh ⚫ 17h • AITA For Being Upset Because My Wealthy Best Friend Wouldn't Let Me Borrow Five Dollars?
    via u/Stupidinlovelesigh
  • 03
    My best friend and I have been friends for nearly 7 years. When we first met, she was struggling financially and lived paycheck to paycheck. At one point, her car broke down and she had no transportation to work, so I would let her borrow my car and never asked her for gas money or anything in return. At the time, I was financially secure and was happy to help her out.
    via u/Stupidinlovelesigh
  • 04
    As the years went by, my financial situation changed & just like her, I began living paycheck to paycheck. By this time, she had started dating a guy she met online who revealed to her a few months into dating that he was a millionaire. They married shortly after and suffice to say she has not had to struggle since. There have been a few times I have asked to borrow money, which I have always paid back. It's usually not much, less than $25 or so each time, and she would always oblige with no pro
    via u/Stupidinlovelesigh
  • 05
    The last couple times I asked to borrow money, she said she didn't have it which I found odd. But then I asked to borrow $5 and she said the same thing and I thought it was odd that she told me she didn't have $5 to spare. I know that ever since she got married, her brothers and a couple other friends have tried taking advantage of her new-found wealth by asking to borrow money they never paid back and having her bail them out of situations they put themselves in that have cost her a lot of mone
    via u/Stupidinlovelesigh
  • 06
    I started to think that maybe I had forgotten to pay her back money I owed her at some point, so I reached out to her to ask if that was the case. When she told me that wasn't the case (as in, I had always paid her back), I told her I felt hurt because it felt like if I needed her help with something (I used the example if I ended up in jail) that I couldn't reach out to her for help because she couldn't even let me borrow $5. She replied and said that just like her brothers, I needed to learn h
    via u/Stupidinlovelesigh
  • 07
    I replied and said that it was not fair for her to lump me in with her brothers as I have never done anything to take advantage of her & I never would have said something like that to her when I let her borrow my car & anytime she would ask me to borrow money when she was struggling.
    via u/Stupidinlovelesigh
  • 08
    I told her I loved her but that I was ending the conversation and she replied that this is why money and friends should never mixed. Since then, she has reached out and said, "I didn't deserve that conversation last night, I hope you know that" to which I have not replied to and have no plans to. I am deeply hurt that she feels I was in the wrong, but I do not think I was the here. I understand that I am not entitled to anyone's money, borrowed or not, but when she was in my shoes, I did everyth
    via u/Stupidinlovelesigh
  • 09
    Scitizenkane ⚫ 16h NTA. Did I read the same post as everyone else, or did your friend make a bunch of accounts ragging you over $5. So, she had to struggle and work 3 job, but was STILL borrowing money from you, but the 5 bucks was the last straw and spawned a finance course. I'd, leave her be. She's posh now, and is not of your world anymore. People need you when they don't have it, but when YOU don't have it ....all the sudden YOU'RE unreasonable and is questioned etc.....perfect example look
    via u/Scitizenkane
  • 10
    RandomDerpBot • 15h I was going to write this comment myself if I didn't see it. Very surprised by all the AH verdicts. The girl was driving around in her car for goodness sakes. I'd be hurt too if my friend, who I helped support through a very difficult time, started treating me like a beggar. NTA
    via u/RandomDerpBot
  • 11
    Burrito Farts oxnardmontalvo7 • 14h Definitely NTA. I can't help but wonder if the wealthy spouse plays any part in this. As in, I don't want you spending our ("MY") money on THOSE people. Oddly enough I have a wealthy friend that this story reminds me of. We've known each other 40 years going back to little kids. When we were in high school and college together both of us were broke. If I had enough money for chips I'd share the bag or vice versa. That sort of stuff was normal. We never kept sc
    via u/oxnardmontalvo7
  • 12
    No_Inspection_2977 • 16h NTA. im honestly shocked at the comments. It's not like you're asking her for a huge amount of money. And it's not like you didn't pay her back before. And if she's that loaded this is nothing to her. I would 100% understand her boundary if you would take advantage of her in some way before. But you didn't. I honestly hope I never get rich enough to be this stingy with the people I love. At least if this is truly causing a problem in her relationship she could tell you w
    via u/No_Inspection_2977
  • 13
    issy_haatin • 13h Partassipant [1] Op frequently asks for loaners. The 5 was the most recent example. She happily obliged for a period of time. But seriously, op admits to loaning frequently. At some point it gets tiresome to meet with someone and to only hear "by the by, can i borrow some cash?" Say they meet once a week. Op mentioned 'the last few times' she didn't get a loan. Meaning that frequency wise she either asks everytime they meet up or at least every other time.
    via u/issy_haatin
  • 14
    Jazzi-Nightmare • 13h Right, It's like sure you helped her out but it sounds like the friend has been helping OP out with little bits here and there for an undisclosed amount of time. That adds up and I'd probably be tired of it too.
    via u/Jazzi-Nightmare
  • 15
    Lady_Trig 15h . My friend and i are in similar situations money wise atm. We are both skint. I've just found out that the money I was expecting this weekend is no longer coming (I have just lost my job and was really relying on it), and she is skint until her next payday. We were venting to each other about our situations and then went about our day. Next thing I know, I have a notification that £50 has been put into my account, and I get a message from her saying that she had called in an owed
    via u/Lady_Trig
  • 16
    Ambitious-Cover-1130 • 15h NTA. I think people are not seeing the issue. Friendships are founded on equality. You supported her when she was down and you feel that she is not supporting you when you are down - ESPECIALLY when it is a question about small sums. In addition to that - she starts lecturing you for being lazy and stupid. That said there are a few points worth noting. Borrowing between friends are always bad. I have the rule if my friends needs a few dollars - I simply give them the m
    via u/Ambitious-Cover-1130
  • 17
    MedicalMom23 • 14h I'm deeply curious as to the friend's side of the story...I feel like there's missing info here.
    via u/MedicalMom23
  • 18
    Guilty-Company-9755 • 13h A LOT of missing info. Why does she feel entitled to 5 bucks whenever she wants it? Why is it always a meager sum like 5 bucks? Sounds like she has a budgeting issue and if she was my friend I would honestly get tired of it too.
    via u/Guilty-Company-9755
  • 19
    foxbones 12h • Or addiction issues. I've had friends I never thought twice about loaning $20 here or there. It kind of sounds like this is happening frequently. Once a friend is asking for small amounts of money constantly 9/10 it has ended up being addiction issues. Perhaps OPS situation is different and this was just something easy like asking their parents. Also what critical thing do they need $5 for? Why does $5 even need to be some sort of complicated transaction. Probably less about the m
    via u/foxbones
  • 20
    Ok_Equipment_8032 • 14h . You've obviously asked often enough for your friend to become uncomfortable with the frequency of your requests, since you stated "the last couple of times" she said she didn't have it. Your friend is setting a boundary and is not wrong in saying that money and friends should never mix. You helped her when she needed help, and it sounds as though she's helped you out up until very recently when you've needed it. At what point is her "debt" to you paid?
    via u/Ok_Equipment_8032
  • 21
    Adventurous-travel1 15h Partassipant [1] It's not the $5 it's the fact that you always ask for $ regardless of you pay her back or not. She set a boundary and is sticking with it so you should respect that.
    via u/Adventurous-travel1
  • 22
    patters1079 • 13h Partassipant [1] YTA. You said you've asked her many times to borrow money. And while that's great you paid her back, friends aren't a bank to lend you money. Maybe it happens once or twice, but after that come on. It's not her job to lend money to friends. That is abusing her friendship. And she's married so her money is now their money. It is understandable that her husband not agree with lending money, especially given the fact her family abused her kindness. She is right, y
    via u/patters1079

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